Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Changed Visits

My husband received a phone call on Sunday (while we were shopping for golf equipment) from his son's mother. She wanted to change our visit in June (which was scheduled for Fathers Day weekend in MD) to Memorial Day weekend here in MA. There are pro's and con's for this change, but its just so frustrating. Every visit since he moved away, there are always changes that his mother does for every visit.

For example, the last time we had seen him, it was on the rotation that we travel to VA for the visit. So, after the holidays we contacted his mom to get the dates of the weekend of his spring vacation. It was agreed that we would visit from Friday 3/28 - Sunday 3/30. I booked our hotel, flights (the flight back home was scheduled for Monday 3/31 just because of the timing) and rental car to reflect those dates. Since there were flights involved, I wanted to get everything schedule as soon as possible.

So, about a month later (early-February) we get a phone call asking if we could change our arrival date & come down for Thursday 3/27 so she doesn't have to take another day off from work since it was his school vacation. So, we talked & we decided to be adjust and come down Thursday evening instead of Friday. All the transportation was adjusted (for an additional fee of course) so we can keep things civilized.

As we are in VA for the March visit, we find out we swapped everything around so she could continue to chop her vegetables at the diner she works at. She only works at the diner once a week (Fridays) from 5am-8am. So, we took extra time off from work (my husband doesn't get paid for time off except for a set two weeks in the summer, so he lost a days pay), paid extra money just so she can chop vegetables. I was so upset!

Anyways, since before the March visit, she has been trying to swap around the June visit. She has thrown many excuses at us, but we had caught her in a little fib for one reason & the other wasn't sticking since it was rediculous.

So, back to the phone call on Sunday. She said she will be in MA for memorial day weekend to visit a relative that relapsed with Cancer and if we can swap the visits. Now we are backed into a corner because how can we be insensitive to a sick relative. So my husband agreed. Urg!

My niece & Step-Son after apple picking Sept 07

I am happy that we get to see him sooner, we won't have to spend money to travel to MD (hotel & gas) and he gets to come to my cousins wedding with us. The bad thing is my husband won't see his son on Father's day and the time in between the next visit is even longer. We won't see my step-son until the end of July in VA.

Now for the May visit, we don't even know when we will get him yet. I'm sure that will change a ton of times before we actually sees him. Its always an adventure, but it's not always a fun one.

2 comments:

The Sweet Family said...

Hang in there, you are doing a GREAT job "holding your tongue".

I cannot imagine what that is like. The X sounds like a piece of work. It sounds like his son needs to be living in a more stable environment; with you two!

Have a great day and continue to keep your chin up!

Anonymous said...

I feel for you! I really do! We go through this sort of thing with my nieces mom...and it is so hard to pick your battles wisely, but when things start to interfere with your livelihood, etc it gets real difficult! It sounds like you all are taking the higher road, just don't let other walk all over you :) if they think they can - they will! :)