Tuesday, July 14, 2009

New Name

Zack has two last names, Jeff's and his mothers. Its been like that since she was upset that Jeff didn't want to be with her any longer and so she added her last name to Jeff's last name. So, he's had the same two names since he was itty-bitty.

Then we started to notice that when Zack started school, Jeff's last name was cut off all paperwork. Also, when he started to spell, he only knew how to spell his mothers name rather then both. This changed after Zack was reminded about his two last names.

Recently, his mother got married. During our February visit, Zack put his foot down and announced he wasn't changing his name. We told him he didn't have to since it was his mommy who'd be changing her name since she's getting married.

Then the June visit came along and Zack mentioned that he wanted to change his name now. We asked him how he wanted to change it. He wanted to eliminate his middle name David, which he shares with his dad, and put Jeff's last name as his middle name, his mommy's maiden name and now the new name as his last name. Jeff just said, oh yeah and it hadn't come up again during the visit.

Yesterday Jeff received a phone call from Zack asking again if he could change his name. Jeff got on the phone with Zack's mom to get the details. According to her, Zack is the one pushing for the change. She said she'd put her maiden name as Zack's new middle name and keep Jeff's and her new name for his last name.

Zack, 7 years old with his front teeth missing

My question to Jeff was, now what name will he use in school? All Jeff is concerned with is that his mom not drop Jeff's last name. What a confusing mess!!


Cherish said...

That is confusing! If anything should be dropped it should be his mom's maiden name. Or how about putting the new last name as the middle name and keeping both last names? My kids all have two middle names then two of them have their dad's last name and two of them have mine. I cant see us ever changing anyone's names though for any reason.

I'd say keep advocating for Jeff's name to be in there. This guy is Zach's step dad but there is no guarantee that he will always be around where as with Jeff, you know he will always be his dad.

Good luck.

Amanda said...

Yeah, who knows what she's telling Zack too. Is he doing this so he thinks he's not being left out? Oh, I wish he lived closer!!

The Sweet Family said...

OK, she is psycho and stupid. Sorry, but she is.

If they were married, together, whatever, Zack needs to have his last name as his dads. If she would like to have her new name added, hyphenate it if it is that important. Zack middle name mother's new name (that probably won't even last) - last name of daddy. End of story!

That will then be your Version of the Story!!! hehehe

Sorry to hear you have to deal with such immaturity and ridiculousness.

Meg said...

Why does it have to be an immediate change? When I was his age I wanted to change my name too. But my parents made me wait until I was 18. Needless to say, that once I was 18 I didn't want to change it anymore.

It could be more of a psychological thing. He sees his mommy changing her name and her "identity" and he feels the need to do the same so that he could relate more with her and he could still feel connected with her.

On the flip side, he will/could be distancing himself from Jeff and his Jeff's identity.

Or I could be making this up as I go...Anyway, you have your hands full. Good luck!

Amanda said...

I think that is what Jeff is afraid of, Zack distancing or not wanting to be around him any longer. I agree, his mom should be a parent and tell him to wait. He should remain with Jeff's last name, end of story!