Jenga Anyone?

Have you ever had that feeling that if something, just one more thing falls out of place, your life would crumble like the game Jenga? Yup, that's where I am right now. Things seem to get better and then I turn a corner and another obstacle is in the way. I try to get buy it, I struggle at times, I succeed, then I'm knocked right back down.

I know I'll get through my newest bump in the road, it'll just take some time.

I'm Not Ignoring You

I haven't forgotten about you. I think of you often. I've just been really busy doing homework for the past week, working on a very important task for Jeff and I. It ties up my free time after Drew goes to bed, so I had to pick and chose what was important.

Well, that homework is done for now and so I can continue to do the things I really enjoy.

You ask, what kind of homework? Well, Jeff and I filed for bankruptcy this year. Our process started back in February with a sit down with a lawyer. Then we (really, I had to) had to collect all the paperwork to support our finances for the past 6 months and submit them to the lawyer. Then we had to take an online credit counseling course that talked about bankruptcy and our finances.

Then the wait game began. They said it would take 6-8 weeks before we heard from anyone. It was more like 10 weeks, then of course I had to find MORE financial paperwork that for some reason wasn't on the list of things to gather up. So, that took a little more time.

Then finally, our first week of vacation we had turned in everything we needed, reviewed our paperwork and was able to officially file for bankruptcy. But, our case wasn't approved yet. We still had to go in front of a Massachusetts appointed trustee to review and except or deny our case. That meeting took place at the end of August. I was so nervous, I kept thinking what will happen if our case was denied. But, we were approved and all clear.

The final step was to complete a 2 hour online video education online. I am so happy the online classes were able to be broken up since they were so horribly done and degrading. So, that was my homework for the past week, watching online video's lecturing me/us about credit. So, that is done! Next step, submit our certificates to the lawyer once we receive them and we are dept free.

I know some people look at bankruptcy as a last resort and look at it as a mark on their credit history. Yes, it was our last resort, but I look at it as a chance to breath and have the weight taken off my shoulders.

T.G.I.F

Its the Friday before a long weekend, Labor Day weekend. This year, it doesn't matter for me since my little department, moved into another department on campus and they are open over Labor Day weekend for student services.

So, yes I am happy its Friday for some reasons, but my week will not end today. I will work over the weekend and welcome those students who need assistance.

I will have Sunday off and we are planning on going to a local fair, so that should be fun. Well, as long as the hurricane doesn't stall and stick around longer then they plan.

Happy long weekend to those who are off!! Enjoy the time with family and friends. Oh, and don't feel too bad for me having to work, I'm using my holiday another time to go to the big fair in a few weeks. So, no worries there!!

If you could go anywhere?

I was walking, by myself for a moment at work the other day, walking back to my office from getting lunch and thought to myself, if I could pick anywhere in the world to go, where would I chose?

Well, first I would ask...can we have a two part question? Then I'd say.....

If I could pick anywhere in the world I haven't been, I would chose Italy. I would love to see the beautiful city and soak in all the breath-taking views of the city. I would chose to see the sites on a gondola boat, snap pictures while I was whisked through the aquatic city. Can you imagine exploring all that the lovely place has in store? Then after exploring on a gondola, explore all the beautiful old structures all over the country. Oh, the possibilities are endless!!

The other part of the question I would say, if I had to chose anywhere I've been to go back, it would be Hawaii. I loved to see Oahu and it was awesome to visit the big Islands volcano, but I want to explore the less crowded islands like Kauai or Maui. I day dream often of what could be found on those islands, a breath-taking water fall, a wonderful path to hike upon or a nice hammock on a quite beach. Ahhh, the possibilities of relaxation!!

So, what would your pics be? The place you want to see and the place you want to go back too??

Weekend Ahead

I am so happy to see the weekend, starting tonight. It hasn't been a rough week like last week, but its just welcomed two day break from the daily grind.

We don't have any set plans except to do something Grammie. Since the weather will be cooler, we really can't plan anything outside, but I'm sure we will make the best out of what ever we decide to do.

Maybe some mall walking/window shopping will take place. Maybe some painting. Maybe snuggle napping. Maybe some organizing.

Regardless of what you have planned, I hope you have a nice couple of days too!!

Sinking Lower

I want to be positive since its Friday, but its tough. I'm so happy that is it "TGIF", I have a half day left at work, an hour at day care to volunteer and then its the weekend. I'm happy to get through what I need to do at work and finish the day care's newsletter and then spend the weekend with the family, but I just can't shake this funk I've been in for some time now.

I spoke to my doctor a month ago and he offered some help, by speaking to someone or medication and I said I'd wait and see what happens. I don't think talking to a professional will help so I was leaning towards meds to see if they would help, but I didn't want to jump right in. I wanted to see if I could change some things in my life and see if it would help.

It did for a little while, but I'm back in the deep end trying to swim and I keep going under. I don't know why. I just can't shake it. A wonderful friend of mine said it may be because I have a lot on my shoulders and it could be the weight of it all pushing me down. It could be, but I don't know what to do about it. It seems like every new door I open, two more close and I just keep ending up in the same place.

So, I'm sure I'm going to have a wonderful weekend since I have my mom coming with Drew and I on our usual Saturday adventure to who knows (until we get there) and a birthday party for my FIL. I'm hoping having a fantastic weekend will help shake this feeling.

Discover Card, Please Stop!!

As you all know, we are struggling with our finances. We have cut a lot of things out of our routine to cut back on costs, including limiting visits to see Zack. We always have help from my parents for items for Drew, but there are those monthly commitments.

A couple of weeks ago, I signed a contracted with a dept counseling company to lower rates and monthly payments for a few of our credit cards. The cards are now closed, the interest rates are so low now and the monthly cost is lower then one of the Discover Cards minimum payment before I signed the contract (we were getting by until the credit card companies played their tricks by lowering the room you have on the credit card loan and made the interest rate jump to be around 30%). I then had a chat with the remaining cards to see what could be done and they were very nice and understanding.

Well, one of the cards in the dept counseling company, the Discover Card, is now not playing nicely. I know I've missed their payment date (since the counseling program payment date and the credit card due date are not the same) because I have entered into the dept counseling program, but they call me at home, work, on my cell phone and email me to get me to pay. There is no way I can afford both payments to Discover and the counseling program. My commitment is now the counseling program. So, I have spoken to 4 different people at Discover about my situation and each one says they will make a note on my record, but within an hour I receive another call.

Its bad enough that I can't pay my bills, but I'm getting help. Then to have to pour my heart out each time, explain my situation over and over again to complete strangers who most likely hear this all the time and have no sympathy. Its very frustrating, tiresome and I am so ready to give up, but I keep on trucking!

Relief is on its way!

Its been a little stressful around our household lately. Its nothing Drew has done. Its nothing my husband has done (this time). Its those monthly commitments we call bills.

Its been a challenge around here. The credit card companies have played their tricks and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of being hounded by phone calls at home, work and on my cell phone and the occasional email that I'm late on a payment (I know already that I'm late with the payment, it doesn't matter how much you call me, I still won't have any money until payday!). We have full-time tuition for day care to juggle. I have a husband who likes to have toys (but I think he's finally realized he has to give and take a little more for now). And me, who hates to fall behind on commitments (especially bills).

So this week, I'm scrounging up the little I have left to sell to try to make a little extra money. I signed a contract today to consolidate some credit cards (I loved telling Discover card today what I did). Jeff decided to sell his motorcycle and continue looking for a part-time job.

We don't know if we will be able to afford an April visit to see Zack, but we will try like heck to see him. We canceled our February visit (mutually between us all which was nice) because things are tight, but I don't want to cancel two in-a-row if I could avoid it.

But now with all of our recent decisions this week, I feel a little relieved. I feel a little of the weight lift and I could relax a little. I had a little spring in my step tonight and it was nice.

Reminiscing

Do you do this? Am I the only one? Every time I hear about a birth story, I immediately think back to the day my little boy made his first appearance.

Is it because I didn't have a stressful labor? I still remember the pain I experienced at the very end, but I still reminisce about every detail. Even the point when Drew pee'd on me moments after he was born.

I hear of women who don't remember anything or don't even want to think about their experience, so am I the only one who has a flash back on this wonderful day? I wonder? But for now, I will be off in my own little world.........

Ok Already

Its voting day in Massachusetts today. Its a special vote for the late Edward Kennedy senator's seat. On today's ballot its just to vote for the next senator to fill his "seat" and nothing else. No questions, nothing just to pick the next senator.

And let me tell you, I can't be happier it will be over shortly. Its nothing about the political side of things, its just the ruthless acts of the candidates. Its not really all of them (there are three) but between two, Brown and Coakley (the third candidate is Joe Kennedy). They are bickering at one another on commercials and radio ads. They go back and forth, one commercial is for Brown, the other is for Coakley, all saying how bad the other one is. This has been going on for a few weeks now. And its not just one each, its several between the two in one commercial session.

Then, the past few days, its been non-stop with phone calls. Its not even this bad with local elections or even the presidential elections. It went over the top yesterday for the two main candidate "camps". Between them all, we received 8 phone calls pushing for "their" candidate within a short amount of time. Enough already! Stop harassing me!! I know there is an election and I already know who I was going to vote for, so stop trying to pressure me! As it was, I had the day off and I was trying to rest and the darn phone kept ringing! Don't they know it was a holiday??!!

Well anyway, the election will be over this evening, and I couldn't be happier, it just seemed to be more catty this election then past years. Its just so childish to see our commonwealth leaders act that way and be able to represent the common people on our issues. Sigh!!

C is for Cookie, That's Good Enough for Me!

I grew up watching Sesame Street. I know most people in my generation did (and still may). I know I turned out alright with the help of the big yellow bird, the green grouch and that blue guy who loves cookies. Matter of fact, I remember going to see one of my first movies with my dad called "Follow that Bird" starring Big Bird in the early 80's. Sesame Street helped me learn the basics.

These days there is Elmo and few other characters, but you really don't hear too much about the 40 year old show unless you look for it. A couple of weeks ago I had stumbled across a Sesame Street Greatest hits CD for Drew. I picked it up to give him some music variety in the car instead of listening to his Fisher Price music all the time.

Let me tell you, those songs brought back so much! I forgot how much fun and carefree the music was, never mind the lessons. So, I am going to try and expose Drew to the Sesame Street gang as long as I can find it on TV for now and see if he enjoys it, then the DVD purchases will begin.

I know parents are the number one key for kids early education, but these "pre-school" shows like Sesame Street, Blue's Clues, Dora the Explorer and so many others out there give the kids a new way of learning with a fun and entertaining way that parents sometimes can't provide. I just hope Drew likes Sesame Street as much as I did when I was a kid.

Lay-A-Way

When I was younger, my parents used the lay-a-way system for gifts. No big deal. It was a way of them saving themselves from racking up their dept on credit cards. Then, when the economy rebounded, stores went from lay-a-way's to store credit cards and that option had disappeared.

Well, now-a-days I need the assistance to help reduce my credit card debt. So, I have been searching the local stores for lay-a-way plans. Can you believe it, not many have that option! But, I stumbled across our local Burlington Coat Factory that has one....all the time! Perfect!! I did see a commercial that K-Mart will have a lay-a-way for the holidays, but I already committed to head to Burlington Coat Factory.

Sears has a unique option, but it wouldn't work for me at the moment. Its like a Christmas Savings account, but in a gift card form. You can add money to this special gift card and use it for the Christmas season. Its a great idea, but I don't have the cash to add to it, to save it and then go shopping. I need the option to pick out my gifts, put a small down payment and pay a little at a time.

So, last night myself, my mom and Drew went Christmas shopping (yes, Drew got some of his shopping done off of his list too). It was great since it was during the week which means less people to deal with in the stores and easier maneuvering with Drew's carriage. We got a good chunk of our Christmas shopping done yesterday and I feel great that I've got it started. Its still going to be a small holiday, but I still want the kids to enjoy themselves!!

A different path?

Sometimes, don't you wonder if you chose a different path in life, where would you be? Please don't get me wrong, I love my life and where I am right now, but doesn't it make you curious sometimes?

What if you were a rebellious kid rather then a rule follower?

If you chose and different sport in High School, would you have gone to a different college on a scholarship?

Or, if you chose a different room mate in college, would you have a different group of life long friends?

Or, if you married your high school sweetheart rather then the person you met after college?

These questions and so many more pop into all of our heads at some point, but don't you just day dream at times....what if?

Scary World

With the recent tragedy on the Yale Campus, it makes you evaluate your surroundings, your life and what is precious to you.

I work on a college campus in a little town in Western Massachusetts. We are surrounded by a 5-College network where students from the surrounding schools come to our campus for classes, events and what ever else they can become involved with. You never really know who the visitors or even some of the students intentions are while being on campus. But, you take every day as any other day, normal and safe, and leave at the end of the day to go see your loved ones.

But, when tragedy's happen on college campuses, it makes me reevaluate my job security. I work in Public Safety on campus, but that doesn't protect me anymore then a student, maintenance person or professor on campus. We are all vulnerable to a persons wrath, no matter where you are....college campus, working in an office building in a large city, or sorting mail in a suburban post office. Its just a scary world now-a-days no matter where you are located.

Working in the college police department, I see all the new technologies since the Virginia Tech tragedy with the new mass notification of safety issues on campus. Also, we already have a secure swipe card system in effect on campus that replaced keying into buildings so people can be tracked down in the event of an emergency, but things can still go horribly wrong and that is what is scary, no matter what measure are in effect.

I just have to keep in mind that tragedy's don't happen every day on campus and my safety is top priority, no matter who I am.

I do hope the murderer of that poor young lady at Yale is found and prosecuted to the fullest since she, and anyone who is innocent is caught up in random or planned acts of violence, did not deserve what happened to her.

Am I Crazy?

Ok, don't answer so quickly now! Let me get my story out first, then you can call me crazy!!

I'm already thinking of the big C word, yup Christmas! I am starting to plan presents, visits, what goodies will I make, what we will eat for dinner and what kind of cards to send out. The main focus at this very moment is what type of card to send out?!

I don't know if I should send a picture card with Drew & Zack on it or a traditional card with a pre-made holiday picture on it. I don't know, I'm stuck on this one. If I go with the traditional card, I will have our names printed already on them (since I send out so many) and if I get the the picture one, it too will be already printed. I just don't know!

Also, if I go with a picture, what pose do I use? The ones from the brother's portrait that we got last week or a candid photo of the two of them that I can take during the next visit. Oh, the dilemma I'm in! Oh, to think ahead so far can really drive me crazy. But, if I wait too long that would just send me over the edge! Ho, hum. I guess I could have a bigger problem on my hands other then what kind of card to order, right!!??!!

Ok, now you can say it out loud, I'm crazy!

Little Updates

My life is going a million miles each way, as does every ones life's.

With that in mind, this is what's going on in my household -

Little Drew is giving us a run for our money. He's been in weird funky mood lately where he can't get comfortable; is starving, but won't eat; is exhausted, but won't sleep, but nothing is officially wrong. He's been to the doctors twice in the last week to see what they think, but they can't come up with anything. They've checked him for an ear ache, teething, they listened for things in his belly and back, but all they can come up with is he is feeling blah.

We are packing and getting ready for our big vacation!! We leave Friday to head to VA to see Zack for a week. Then on the second week of vacation, we will be back in our area with Zack. We have tons of things planned along with lots of rest and relaxation. I can't wait!!

We get to babysit my niece tomorrow night along with celebrating my parents 37th wedding anniversary. Yeah, we get to have cake and have fun too!

My SIL Jenn is due in a week with her little boy. I was hoping that the little guy would come this week so we can meet him before our vacation, but its all up to that baby when he wants to meet the world.

My cell phone is now working!! I don't feel naked anymore without it. We let the battery and phone dry separately and when I got home last night, put them back together and presto! It works again. Some of the buttons are slow working, but I can deal with that rather then being without a phone or spending tons of money to replace it.

I Feel So Lost

I feel naked. I feel lost. I feel like I'm missing something, even though I know its not there.

I don't have my cell phone. Its broken! Its water logged, but not from the usual reason (no, it didn't fall in the toilet).

This is how it happened -

Around 4:30pm yesterday, I was finishing up a walk with Drew in the driveway.

I took my cell phone off the stroller and placed it on our back stoop on a table.

I brought Drew in the house while he was in his car seat and left the stroller in the driveway.

I asked Jeff to put the stroller back in the van for me.

Around 6pm, there was a heavy thunderstorm in our area.

After Drew fell asleep around 8:30pm, I went to look for my phone to check my email. I couldn't find it in my purse or counter. I panicked!

I ran outside to see if my phone was still outside and it was, covered with rain water. I just slumped my shoulders and said oh crap.

So, I went to Jeff and said I hope our phone insurance covers water logged phones. Then he got this look on his face, like a deer caught in the headlights and said oh I saw the phone out there before and didn't think of bringing it in (OK, I didn't say anything to him at this point, since it was my fault the phone was left outside, but why would I leave my blackberry cell phone outside on purpose?) Then he proceeded to try and fix my phone. No luck!

So, I hope to be able to get a replacement somehow, since I'm freaking out without it. Now that I'm used to all the features, I don't know how I'll function without it!

Whirlwind Weekend

Was there a weekend? Did I miss Saturday & Sunday for some reason? Did I blink and Friday went straight to Monday?

Well, that's how I feel. Our weekend went by in a flash. I don't like it when they do that, especially going back to work full time today.

Our weekend was packed with an Uncle's 75th Birthday party, exchanging diapers, bringing items to a friends house for a big tag sale, helping move my SIL, work (I like to take small shifts at a museum at the college I work for), grocery shopping at two stores and playing with Drew.

Also, in the middle of the weekend, our washer died. So, the moment it dies, we realize we are short on burp clothes for Drew. We had to improvise and use his little flannel blankets over night. Then my FIL and Jeff have to run out and buy a new washer before they move my SIL Sunday morning.

My SIL wasn't suppost to move until next weekend, but I think her nesting phase has kicked in and she wanted to get the bulk of her items to the apartment as soon as it was clean enough to move in. She is still moving things during the week, but her big furniture has vacated our house.

I hope we get a nice, laid back weekend coming up!

It's the weekend!

Its Friday, yeah! I know my weekend will be busy, but its so nice to hear its Friday.

On the agenda for the weekend is a baby shower for my SIL. Then its off to a baby consignment store to see what we can find for Drew.

On Sunday its time to celebrate Jeff's and my birthday with the family. I can't wait to see my niece Ally!

I hope you also have a fun filled weekend too! Also, if its going to be hot in your area too, stay cool!

Oh, How I Enjoyed It

So, many things I could have enjoyed over the weekend. Of course there where, but the one thing that I was able to do this weekend that I haven't gotten a chance to do over the past couple of months, was something I've been really looking forward to do.

The thing isn't what you expect, since I'm a little weird.

I love to do it, when most people hate it.

I kicked everyone out of the house, so I could be alone while I did it.

Oh, it was great!!

I got to do a little late spring cleaning!!





I know, I know. I may be a little warped, but I love to clean my house.....well, the area's I have control over (since we live with my FIL, its his house, and he has clutter everywhere).





I kicked my husband out with Drew so he wouldn't be around the fumes. I made sure my pregnant SIL wasn't going to be around, and I scrubbed the bathroom clean. It was wonderful. Yeah, I'm tired know, but it was worth it.